new leaf…

Going on a healthy eating/exercising insane amounts kick….let’s see how long this lasts….

destruction

Leave it to America to destroy everything it loves.

Was just reading up on memorial day. Did you know that it was originally a day to honor the fallen dead of the Civil War? Shortly after the Civil War’s end, a group of freed black slaves snuck into an area that was a Confederate prison camp where countless Union soldier’s bodies were buried in a mass grave. These freed slaves dug up the massive grave and re-dug individual graves for the Union soldiers who had one them their freedom. They then went out, picked flowers from the countryside and returned, decorating the graves and  building a fence around the area with an entrance arch. What an amazing example of how to honor our fallen heroes.

Then commercialism came along and said, “lets make it a three day weekend,” which the government went along with in the late ’60’s. Then commercialism said, “lets have sales and donate money to the fallen soldier’s families.” That slowly turned into “let’s just have sales” which is where we stand today. We sell clothes, cars, shoes, and power tools, but in no way to do we honor the fallen. In no way to we memorialize what they’ve done, how they died. Most people don’t think of memorial day as anything more than a day off of work. We wave the flag on July 4th but do nothing to pay respect to the people that allowed that flag to be waved. We speak against an unjust war but fail even look at the names of the men who’ve lost their lives in this war that we hate. 20 seconds, that’s all it takes (http://tinyurl.com/oubo5q), to say thanks. Make it a weekly tradition, and instead of thinking of memorial day as a day off, think of it as a day of gratitude, of mourning, a day to remember the heroes who didn’t need to know us to fight for us.

looking up

I’ve always looked up to those in military service. They’re the best of the best and amazing at what they do. It’s easy to pass liberals, libertarians, anything other than republicans really, off as anti-military, which isn’t the case at all. I have the deepest respect for those that have signed up to do the job of protecting us. No matter what issues I take with the government that sends them, the military have my sincerest gratitude.

I’ve known quite a few people that have gone in Iraq, Kuwait, and Afghanistan. Most of them come back different. Not bad, sometimes slightly bitter at the conflict, but different. Yesterday was something else though. One of our mechanics at work is a Reserve. He was called up about 9 months ago, served in Iraq and has recently come home. While still on active duty, he dropped by yesterday to say hi to all of us. I was never close to him before, just an occasional “hi”, or “thanks for your help”, but when he got back yesterday I didn’t get that bitter soldier feeling from him that I’ve gotten from others. Don’t get me wrong, a solider has right to be bitter, but he wasn’t. He was gladly serving out his time and seemed genuinely gratiful for the ability to serve. He didn’t talk much of his time there (we had gotten updates all along), but the way he carried himself was so professional, so refreshing, I couldn’t help but to look up to him. He had seen the worst, and now he’s back, fulfilling his other job without a second thought.

Seems to me like that is the mentality that we want in our soldiers. People who have other lives, who when called on to serve, will serve without hesitation, and when they’re done, return to business as usual gratiful for the opportunity to serve their country. That is what makes America great.

Thank you to all of our men and women who serve, for risking it all to protect us and our future. Happy Memorial Day.

-n

deadness

Was reading CNN today, and one overwhelming thought took hold. The GOP is dead. They can try all they want to give themselves a shot in the arm, but it won’t work. They’ve already proved to the rest of the country, and themselves, that they don’t know what America wants. Their solutions are the same things they’ve been offering for 60 years, and none of them have or will work. The leaders are old and don’t understand the new world. Their policies are staunch; too staunch to be appreciated by a generation who actually bothers to ask questions. That’s right. The GOP won’t questions themselves, and thus have become a casualty in the war for people’s minds. They depend on tradition rather than people thinking things through, and when people bring up arguments that they HAVE thought thru, the GOP doesn’t have an answer…instead they have a slap in the face to anyone with the cajones to actually think.

Now, I’m not saying that the Democrats have one. They haven’t and they won’t. No one will “win” – but the GOP will form into another party – a different party. The name will be the same. The premise will be the same. But in order to survive, they will need to revamp what they’ve always held as true. And it kills them. How dare a country force its leaders to progress? Well, we do. Because our leaders represent us. And that is why McCain/Palin lost. Because no body wanted them to represent. No body had enough faith in them.

Being a constitutional libertarian, I have the luxury of being able to step outside the box and see views from both sides. I’m fiscally conservative, socially liberal, believe in a free market economy and hold a strictly constitutional view of foreign policy – relations with all, allies with none. This is why its easy for me to laugh at both sides, and yet defend both sides. But I’ll be the first to admit, the GOP will fail miserably in every attempt until they are willing to progress to the level its new followers demand. And the Dems will fail miserably until they are humble enough to admit that while their ideas my be good in theory, their practice can destroy them.

One can only hope that enough Constituonalists stand up to guide our country where it needs to be – with a eye to the past and a goal of progress. To lose sight of either will get us lost.

over and over…

It’s happening again. This is not good. I’m itching to get out of CA. I’m seeing housing prices 1/8 of what they are here. I’m seeing property with land and jobs closeby. The more I’m here, the more I can’t stand it. People are fake. Everything a show. I want basic. I want a good house, my family, the essentials, maybe a few toys…but I want to downgrade. I find it hard to do here in CA. I find myself falling into materialism and then wishing I could ween myself off of it. How much better off would America be if we could just live on the essentials?

Found my dream house today. In Quinlan, TX. On a lake. 3200 sq.ft. with 3 acres. 1 hr outside of DFW. For $280k. Thats the price of a 1 bd. condo in OC. In the middle of Costa Mexico even. I could settle for even less…just get me out of the hussle. I need to hear myself think.

coming up

Can’t wait for this summer. I don’t know what it is about summer but I love it. It’s not like we get a school break anymore, but there’s something about the season that is a little more lax. Work picks up for me because we’re in full swing for Fair setup, but I know that there’s sporatic weekends in there where we can get away. Plus we always do our yearly camping trip in august. Last year we did Yosemite, and it was great, but alot of the Falls were dried up. So this year we’re gonna head back up to Courtright Reservoir in the High Sierras. Here’s some pics of it:

We’re gonna try to bring Travis and Pilar (his fiance), our friends Court and Dave, and Court’s sister and her boyfriend. The lake is perfect for swimming and fishing and the weather up there is amazing.

So that is what I’m looking forward to. It’s what gets me thru Fair every year.

In other news, Stagecoach rocked. Tom and I drank way too much beer and partied way too late, and Court gracious dealt with us and actually joined in quite a bit. Good stuff.

Stay tuned. Shalom.

-n

ramble on

I’m coming to terms with my status. Not sure what that means anymore, but I feel like I have a little better handle on life. Things aren’t as complicated to figure out anymore. I don’t know if its because I’ve stopped caring, or just stopped wanting to care, but either way, I feel slightly relieved. Not sure what I’ll do with this new found feeling – maybe go out and save the world…..maybe drink a Newcastle on my couch. Probably the latter.

i’ve got soul

I’m not sure about new music. Actually, I am. The majority of it sucks. It’s got no soul, no drive. It’s a bunch of poppy teen angst rolled up into a highly produced package and marketed to teeny boppers who will pay whatever they are told for the music they are told to listen to. It’s not music you can drive down the highway screaming after a breakup. Its not music you can blast at a rally. Its not even music you can see in concert. Its processed, like the artists that make it and the producers that produce it. Simply put, its shit.

My brother and I had a lengthy conversation tonight on the way home from a Modern Subject rehearsal. The topic – where has the real music gone? Gone are the days of raw rock ‘n roll, of gut wrenching guitars and vocals that even the best person in your college vocal ensemble couldn’t wail if they were on acid. No today’s music is toned – its mediated – its controlled from a sterile room by a producer with $1000 bills in his pocket. If it can be done on synth, do it on synth. If it can be faked, fake it. If it can be cleaned up with cutting and pasting and a shitload of reverb, then do it in post. God forbid we let musicians be musicians and portray music the way its meant to be portrayed – open, honest, raw, gutsy, and untamed.

What happened to the music of the generation? Previous youth had The Beatles, The Who, The Doors, The Stones, Dylan, U2, hell, even Oasis. But where’s the music of THIS generation? Where’s our protest songs? We have the economy going to shit, a black president coming into power, worldwide terrorist turmoil, an environmental meltdown, and a vast majority who don’t give a flying f**k. WHAT IS THERE NOT TO PROTEST? Yet the only voice I hear is a pretentious, abnoxious rapper named Kanye West screaming at me that his music about “screwing bitches” and “beatin’ hoes” is somehow the voice of my generation. No thanks you arrogant asshole. I want MY music back. I want music with soul, music that keeps me up at night. I want to believe so much in a song that I feel it could change the world. I want music for a revolution.

Pop music makes me sick. It really does. I rarely if ever listen to the radio – it depresses me. The music awards was a friggin circus this year. Everyone could have gotten everyone else’s award and everyone knew that no one deserved any of it. The bands and artists of this year probably won’t be here next, nor will their music, which thank God, fades away quicker than they do. I swear, if I heard a teenager singing Britney Spears in 30 years I would crap my pants. It just won’t happen. And its not just that she sucks, or that she’s drama, or that her claim to fame is her cleavage and not her music. It’s all of that…combined – and more. That’s why she won’t last. And neither will any of these other fly by night, built by Sony wonder-acts. They’re around to make a quick buck and the gone, meanwhile a whole generation sits there and has to pick between Kanye West and Panic at the Disco to represent them to the world.

Music isn’t about life anymore. Its not about struggles, or pitfalls, the world, happenings…hell, even women. It’s about personal drama and how you feel about it. You don’t hear an “Under My Thumb” anymore, a “Talking ‘Bout My Generation,” even a “Wonderwall.” You hear who some guy screwed and how he feels about it. Maybe its me, but I don’t give a shit. I need more. I need rock. Rock ‘n roll is a mentality, a character, it’s even a swagger. But its not just a type of music – its a type of life. A life that wants things raw…how they’re meant to be. Unpolished. Unproduced. Like you just heard a new band playing in their garage and you’re so into it you park in the drive way kind of raw. That’s when talent comes through. It’s not when you throw a crappy singer through 40 different pitch processors until you get a clean note, its when a singer is so freaking good that a pitch processer wigs out and makes it sound worse.

I long for a Dylan – a writer for the people. A writer that isn’t afraid to stand in front of the most powerful person in the world, and say “Guess what? I wrote a song for you. It’s called “Go to Hell, Asshole!” And just when you think they couldn’t possibly have the metal to go further….they strap on a guitar and sing the first chorus for them…in front of 15,000 fans. That’s who I want…not some spandex-clad bimbo telling a group of 20,000 horny freshman that she’ll be a slave for them.

Music has sold its soul to the devil for a 23 song album and a 3 minute video. It’s flooded our iPods with instructions how to think, how to act, what to buy, when to piss, and when to roll over and die. And its everywhere. MTV doesn’t play music anymore…neither does VH1. You gotta dig way up into the 400 channels to find Paladia, and hope they’re not playing that AC/DC concert rerun. You can’t even find good music anymore.

My generation wants its music back. No. Scratch that. We want our music for the first time. We want to be so emotionally involved with a song that we tell people to piss off while we listen to the album again – for the 5th time. We need artists like The Strokes, The Kooks, and Delta Spirit to completely overtake the charts and not to be confined by some half-assed Indie radio station that plays a poppy track for the sake of profiling. Then we need emerging artists to hear these bands, and say, “I wanna say that too….but louder!” That is where it comes from, from the drive, the need, yea, the unquenchable thirst to take a thought, contemplate it until it burns a hole in your brain, and scream it out the sunroof on the 405 freeway at 1am……and then record it to 2 inch tape.

I may be dreaming….or rather foreshadowing, as I’ve yet to see it happen….but I have hope. I have hope that music can be saved. I believe that if enough people experience real music, real rock….not this Fall Out Boy disco rock obsession sweeping the charts-but real, unadulterated rock, that something will click. Something will set off a bomb in these modern day poets. That they’ll turn their attention away from their closet of despare, and outward toward the world that is crying out for representation. And on that day, we will have our Dylan, our Jagger, our Lennon…until then, well, there’s always records….

the times they are a changing

Most of my friends didn’t vote for McCain – they voted against Obama. The funny thing is, all those compassionate conservatives that were so convinced McCain was going to take the election, are now talking about packing their bags for Canada (as if Canada was somehow less socialist than Obama…boggles the mind).

Their fears are rooted in rumors, lies, and mostly misinterpretation spread by the failed McCain camp in an attempt to encourage Obamaphobia. He’s a terrorist, a communist, he kills babies, he wants gays to take over, he’ll raise my taxes, he’ll steal my guns….etc, etc, etc. The thing is, I find it hard to believe that ANY one man can achieve these feared accomplishments – especially in today’s day and age. The presidency is the most watched office in the land. The system of checks and balances has 200+ fail-safes in senators and congressmen, and the world stage is evermore focused on America. Obama will hardly have room to breathe, much less steal my 12 gauge. People will argue that Bush did alot of damage – and I agree, but unfortunately much of Bush’s damage was voted for by congress, so pass the plate of shame.

No, Obama won’t be perfect. But I don’t fear him. I won’t pack my bags, or build a bunker. I’ll welcome the change he preaches, and should he fail, I’ll show up at my precinct in 2012 to vote for another person to fear….hmm, I wonder if Alaska’s own Caribou Barbie will run again?

dependence

I’m realizing more and more recently that I don’t know how to be a Christian. I think it has to do with this social and religious deconstruction that I’m studying right now. I’m starting to see that all the things I had ever thought were part of being a believer are just fluff, and I haven’t ever really delved into the real meat of things.

I’m currenting reading The Irresistable Revolution by Shane Claibourne. In it, he speaks about fulfilling the Sermon on the Mount and living a Christian life that is radically different than mainstream Christianity. While some may associate what he says with a Democratic form of society, I have to ask myself, is that bad at all? Taking care of orphans and widows, caring for the poor and the sick – that seems to be what Christ has told us to do. Telling someone they need to be saved to go to heaven yet offering them no assistance here on earth neither represents Christ well, nor gives them any reason to worship a God who smiles on their plight. So I ask myself, do I really practice a form of Christianity that my Maker would be proud of? I have to admit, I don’t. I realize that Christ didn’t save us to get us to attend church every sunday, yet the standard Western view of Christianity says just that.

As I dive deeper into the confusion of what real Christianity is, I have to look to the heros of our faith – Luther, Augustine, St. Francis of Assisi. Their words seem to echo, “living is preaching” not “preach to everyone you talk to.” Some may say this is passive, I’m starting to believe this is the most active thing we can do. If the faith we hold close does nothing for anyone then what is the point of holding it close at all? Would it not preach more to hand a blanket to a homeless person than telling them they should accept Christ? Would showing compassion on a struggling addict not go further than heaping judgement on his already-acknowledged sin? I’m sadly starting to see what we’ve become, and seeing that allows me to understand why the church is so uneffective – our selfishness reigns supreme – we’ve taken Christ off the thrown and put ourselves there, each waiting for our precious turn in the glory seat so that we can receive warm-fuzzies from all those around us.What a stark comparison to the selflessness of the one we claim to worship.

I’ll continue to pursue a purpose that is acceptable to my Father….